I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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