I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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