physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
