it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
