Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
