I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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