I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
