omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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