I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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