At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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