i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
