My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
