Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
even my farts smell like vagina
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Boobs are out for the taking
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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