Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Randomize
