I met the friendliest cop last night
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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