I want to stick my p in your. b.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
