Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize