Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
