i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
