just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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