I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
