Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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