i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
