I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize