You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
