Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
