Sry I called you an 8
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
