He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
