if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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