Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
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Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
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We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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