Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
