a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
