butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
