so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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