I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
