Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
