O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
