He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
