That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
