I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
