that's an acceptable place to lick
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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