Whoa Z and x make the same sound
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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