I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
