Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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