I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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