We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
