Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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