Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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