what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
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I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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