so that wasnt chicken after all
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
