Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
