i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so let's talk penis.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
