we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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