I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
