He is like the real live version of the state fair..
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
