I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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