Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
