If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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