So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
