absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
