well you can't waste a boner
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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