Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
