This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
