he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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