What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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